lol I don’t even fucking do this anymore why am I still getting asks? dumb cuts I haven’t been online for months. so douchebag anon? go kill yourself lol I really don’t care.
For the past 3 days I haven’t snacked on a thing.
I’ve had breakfast and lunch and dinner and water and Sprite Zero and sometimes a bit of orange juice. I just haven’t been hungry. and it’s all due to absolutely effing brilliant pills — that aren’t even diet pills — that up your metabolism and suppress your appetite.
I’m so happy. I’m seeing weight gone on the scale EVERY MORNING. and I had two pieces of cheese pizza for dinner last night even.
My goals are still the same. it’s just my methods that have changed.
I don’t care how long it takes now. If I only lose a pound a day. if I only lose a pound a week. I’ll take my time.
see you again one day, tumblr. but I’m out for now.
epiphany of sorts.
So, I was trying to talk myself out of a funk this morning for doing so well restricting myself, then binging like mad last night, and I realized something: this is all fucking stupid. I mean I don’t have an ED, so this is something I’ve been forcing myself into thinking it’s the right way to do it. You know — don’t eat, lose weight faster, right? I mean who cares if my hair all falls out and I become weak and dangerously fragile and get sick easier and all of that? Because I’ll be skinny!
So I’d restrict. For DAYS, I wouldn’t eat a thing, I’d just drink water. Then when I finally did let myself eat I would binge like CRAZY, I would eat so much and gain all the weight back that I lost from restricting. Then I’d hate myself and be miserable and punish myself — FOR EATING. For something I have to do to LIVE. What kind of sane person hates themselves for a natural survival function?
By going on a regular diet, what the hell have I got to lose, other than weight? Just eat healthier meals, smaller portions, an apple or a cup of veggies for snacks. Go for runs every once in a while or do stairs or Pilates to burn off any little snacks I have. Let myself have snacks sometimes! Those little bags of chips are only 400 calories, and if you’re supposed to be having like, what is it, 1500 calories a day? That is NOT that much. And if I feel bad about it, I can go on the treadmill or something and burn that 400 calories off, or as much of it as I can.
What the fuck am I doing to myself when the healthy way is so much easier, and it means that I don’t have to restrict myself from all the foods that I love?
I think I’m going to take a break from thinspo for a while. I still love all of you though, and I hope you get exactly what you want.
38300) The moment that food enters my mouth, I start binging and I can’t stop. I’ve completely lost control. I purged x time(s) today, and I’m still downing a bag of jellybeans to purge after.
(Source: confessionsabouteatingdisorders)
Base By: Jahrenesis
